


Gannon, Enemy of Hyrule

by rudluff, xama



Category: Dragnet (TV 1967), The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Magic, Mystery, Police Procedural, the facts ma'am just the facts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudluff/pseuds/rudluff, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xama/pseuds/xama
Summary: This is the city, Los Angeles California.This is the city, Castle Town, Hyrule.I work here, I'm a cop.I work here, I'm a Knight.
Relationships: Joe Friday & Bill Gannon, Link & Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	Gannon, Enemy of Hyrule

This is the city, Castle Town, Hyrule. It’s a pretty city, but it didn’t used to be. Once, Ganon and his hordes of monsters roamed the land, until the Princess and her Hero drove them off. It’s a nice place to visit, and maybe you’d even want to live there. If you do, it’s my job to protect you. I carry a sword.

It was Friday, April 13th. It was cool in Castle Town. I was working guard division. The captain’s Krin, my name’s Link. We’d gotten a call that the biggest gang in town was coming back, and moving for a big score -- they wanted to kidnap the Princess. Our job? Stop them.

* * *

This is the city, Los Angeles, California. It’s a big city, one of the biggest in the nation. A big city means a big commercial district. Stores that sell furniture, food, dry goods, wet goods, books, art supplies. You name it, it’s sold here. People naturally want to obtain these goods - when they don’t want to pay for them, that’s where I come in. I carry a badge.

It was Friday, April 13th. It was cool in Los Angeles. We were working Juvenile Narcotics. The Captain’s John Flaherty, my partner’s Bill Gannon. My name’s Friday. On our way in from giving a speech at a local high school, Bill and I had picked up a juvenile acting erratically. We were just getting ready to interrogate her.

* * *

Friday, 4 P.M. We’d just gotten the call - the Princess was missing, and it looked like foul play. There was no sign of forced entry to the palace, and also no sign of a voluntary exit. I checked out my guard horse, Epona, and rode over there to check it out.

When I got to the scene, Impa, the princess’s bodyguard, was hysterical. I tried my best to calm her down.

“Now, get a hold of yourself, lady. I just need to ask a few things.”

“Oh, it’s terrible, it’s just awful! She was here not more than a few hours ago! I had gone out to deposit some rupees in the bank -- my paycheck, you know. I don’t actually get paid too well, but I love my work.”

“Yes, ma’am. About what time did you see her last?”

“Well, I looked back towards the castle just as I was passing the mask store, and I saw her looking down from one of the battlements! It must have been just about noon!”

“And about how long were you gone, lady?”

“Oh, not more than 6 hours or so!”

“And you discovered her disappearance!”

“Yes, when I got back she was gone! I say, I sure hope I don’t lose my job over this!”

“I wouldn’t bet on it, lady. Let’s go, Epona.”

* * *

Friday, 4 P.M. Bill and I started interrogating the erratic juvenile.

“Can I have your name?”

“Princess Zelda of Hyrule!”

“Uh-huh. Can I see some identification?”

“What?”

“A driver’s license, library card, passport. Something with your name on it?” I couldn’t help but give a slightly sarcastic smile when the juvenile was unable to provide any kind of ID and continued to insist her true name was “Princess Zelda”. We were getting nowhere fast.

“So your parents named you Princess, and your family name is Zelda, is that right? Where do you go to school, Princess?” I asked.

“I don’t. I have a royal tutor.”

“Is that right? Listen, miss, my partner and I just want to figure out what you were doing walking through a busy intersection. Care to shed any light on that?” Bill asked, slightly raising his eyebrows. “At least tell us where we can contact your parents.”

“My parents?” asked Zelda, obviously somewhat taken aback.

“We’ve taken you into protective custody because you were acting in a manner dangerous to yourself or others. Your parents or legal guardian will have to come pick you up -- after we determine what you were doing.”

“Guardian?” the girl asked, with sudden comprehension in her eyes. “You mean Impa?”

“If that’s what you call her.”

* * *

Friday, 6 P.M. Epona and I had been on Code 7 down at the kebab place in Kakariko Village. Suddenly, a hawk alighted on my arm, with a note attached. Dinner would have to be cut short -- our worst fears had been realized. Gang lord Ganon was back in town, and he’d captured the princess. He even had the gall to put it on the town bulletin board.

* * *

Saturday, April 14th. Despite the juvenile’s claim that her guardian was “Impa Zelda” -- or as close as we could figure -- we had been unsuccessful in locating any of her relatives. Because she did not appear to be under the influence of any narcotic, we decided to turn to the press for aid. The press has a good relationship with the Los Angeles Police Department and usually cooperates in missing persons cases if asked -- particularly if the missing person is technically found and is a feisty teenage girl in a far-out getup.

The article listed her supposed name, but pointed out that we weren’t absolutely sure that it was her true name. The newspapermen also took some photographs of “Princess” in the clothes we had found her in, an elaborate silken outfit as regal as it was Haight-Ashbury exotica.

“Maybe we better ask around Hollywood,” Bill said, half-jokingly. “Maybe they’re missing a costume or two.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Or maybe they’re missing an actress.”

* * *

Saturday, April 14th. 8 A.M. No word on Ganon’s whereabouts. The Castle Town guard and a local troop division began a coordinated search of the countryside. Every shack, windmill, haystack, barn, store, treehouse, and bokoblin cave would be searched. A group of Zora even began searching the kingdom’s waterways. We didn’t have much time.

I was just about to make my report to the Captain when I heard a loud knocking on the guardroom door. It was Tingle, a local fairy junkie. I’d gotten good information from Tingle before, and we had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

“What’s the word on the street, Tingle?”

“Hey, hey, Link, old buddy. It’s good to see ya.” Tingle was visibly shaking; it was clear he hadn’t had a fix in probably over a week. “I heard about the Princess. Went missing. Real shame! Swell girl. Always dressed real nice. Real shame! Sometimes she leave the castle, you know. She’d go in disguise, but I always known it was her.”

“Cut to the chase, Tingle. Do you have any information we could use to get her back?”

“Well, I seen some guys. They weren’t the usual kind’a thug that Ganon uses. They were just normal guys, kinda skinny.”

“Well, can you describe them?” I asked.

“Wasn’t much to describe. Like I said, they was average.” Tingle paused and seemed to think hard, his brow wrinkling slightly. “Except for one thing.”

I leaned forward. “What thing?”

“Well,” he said, shaking his head. “Funny thing. Their ears.”

“Their ears?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “They was round.”

* * *

Tuesday, April 17th. 9:35 A.M. We’d gotten a good amount of calls about “the Princess girl”, who had been taken down to MacLaren hall until her guardians could be located. Along with the usual crackpots and sympathy callers, we’d had a couple of leads that seemed good, but had turned out dead ends. We were no closer to solving this mystery than when we had picked her up.

I was doing paperwork on a different case, and Bill had just finished answering a call.

“Anything?” I asked without much hope.

He shook his head, “Nothing, just another nut. Claims he’s ‘head of the Royal Guard’, and demanded we return ‘Princess Zelda’ immediately. I said we could only release her to her legal guardian and he demanded to know who I was. Seemed to get really worked up when I told him my name. Maybe we’ve dealt with him before. Couldn’t place the voice, though…”

“It’s probably nothing…” I said, considering our many thousands of previous cases.

The Captain’s door opened and Bill and I both looked up. The Captain looked agitated.

“Captain? Is there any trouble?” Bill asked. I merely grimaced in agreement; the Captain would know what I meant.

He nodded, looking grim. “You know that ‘Princess Zelda’ girl?”

We both nodded.

“I just got off the phone with MacLaren hall. She escaped. Apparently they let her help with the laundry -- you know she’s one of the older ones there, kind of an occupational therapy thing -- and before they knew it, she’d stolen some boys’ clothes and crept through an air vent to the outside.”

Bill and I shared a glance. Bill shook his head. “I guess it wasn’t drugs,” he said.

I nodded, “I guess she’s just a kook.”

“Well, she was sure in a rush to get where she was goin’... I just hope we can catch her before she tries to walk in front of an 18-wheeler again.”

* * *

Tuesday, April 17th, 12 P.M. I’d put the word out, all the guards were searching for two goons with round ears. We hadn’t had much luck - people didn’t tend to flaunt their physical deformities. Then I got a call. The Castle Town baker had come to see me. A large and fleshy man with an insubstantial beard, he wrung his floured hands every time he talked. A nervous habit, or maybe a sign of a guilty conscience.

“Mama mia! It’s such-a strange thing!” he said, shaking his head and getting flour everywhere. “These two guys, they a-walked into my bakery, yes? They ordered doughnuts.”

“What kind?” I asked.

“Creme-filled,” the baker said. “So I gave them their order, and they a-paid-a. But it wasn’t no rupees they a-pay me in. They give me this-a green paper. I would-a yelled, would-a thrown them out, but I a-heard about the Princess. I figure it better to a-let them go and report, yeah?”

I nodded, “Yeah. You did the right thing. Can you describe the men?” I asked.

“Well, I’d say they was middle-aged guys. Ain’t-a never seen ‘em in these-a parts before. Little taller than-a you, maybe-a 6’2”, and the shorter guy 6’ even. The taller one had-a black hair, shorter had-a gray hair, and had less of it than the other. Both cut real short. Maybe 135 pounds for each of ‘em. Nothing real distinctive ‘bout their faces, no scars or nothin’.”

“And what were they wearing?” I asked, writing down his information.

“Odd clothes.” The baker said, “Never seen anything a-like it. They had odd kerchiefs a-hanging from their necks, like-a rope. Other than that, they was just wearing gray. All over, everything gray.”

“And did they say anything?”

“Oh, yeah, a-let me think. Yeah, they said something about ‘MacLaren Hall’. Guess that’d be-a where they were going…”

I nodded. “Thank you so much for your help.” As the baker turned to leave, I got his attention. “Oh, one more thing.” He stopped and turned expectantly. “Their ears. Did you… notice anything odd about them?”

He nodded, “Yes, now that you a-mention it. Their ears were a-round.”

* * *

Thursday, April 19th. Bill and I had joined the patrol searching for the missing juvenile. What had started out as a routine stop and field investigation had turned into something bigger -- much bigger. We weren’t sure why the girl’s parents hadn’t come forward. Maybe she was a runaway from another state, maybe they just didn’t care. We weren’t sure why the girl had feel the need to run away from wherever she used to live -- why she ran away from us -- or where she was running to. One thing was sure, she had no place to stay, and if we didn’t pick her up again, someone else would -- someone 7 feet tall with tusks. 

“Joe, what’re you thinking?”

“I was just thinking that if we don’t find that girl, someone else will…”

“You sound so sure of that, Joe. She might just go to the beach. A lot of these young runaway types do.”

“Yeah, but I’m afraid of what she might do on the beach,” I said. “Sure, she might not find anyone who means her harm, but she’s not right in the head. What if she decides to take a swim?”

“Do we know that she can swim without a life vest?” Bill asked.

I shook my head, “We don’t even know if she has Iron Boots.”

We got into the carriage and turned on the ignition. The horse neighed and we were off.

“Say, Joe,” Bill said, furrowing his brow. “Do you get the feeling something weird is going on?”

I looked at Bill. “Weird how?” I asked. “Something weird is always going on in this state. Some young beatnik thinks that the democracy we’ve worked to build is not worth the paper it’s printed on. White and black racists vie for control of the streets, and both sides aren’t too fond of their local police. The youth have no guidance, and--”

“Joe.” Bill said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Watch out, there’s a pig in the middle of the road.”

I hit the brakes and the horse stopped, snorting in displeasure. “Woah, girl.” I said, patting her. “No Bill, I don’t see anything particularly odd about this,” I said as we got out of the car into the cobbled road of Main Street.

“I don’t know, Joe. I kinda get the feeling we’re lost. Maybe we should radio for backup?”

I looked my partner in the eyes. “Bill.” I said, “I know I’m known as the department’s resident ‘straight-man’, but I can joke. Yes, I see something’s wrong. Something’s very wrong.”

Bill nodded, looking relieved.

“That pig doesn’t have a leash.”

Bill looked shaken, and I just shook my head. Everyone’s a critic.

* * *

Thursday, 4 P.M. The manhunt for the round-eared men had still gone nowhere, but our other lead -- this mysterious “MacLaren Hall” -- had just turned up something. The castle librarian recalled an old stronghold by that name, but it had been deserted and unmaintained for centuries. It was in the far West of the realm. It was all we had to go on. I rolled on it.

I checked out Epona from the stables and we rode to check it out.

When I got there, the place was deserted. Some of the walls had collapsed and grass had overtaken the foot paths. There were signs of wild beasts in the place, but nothing jumped out at me.

I searched the premises and found a trap-door in the corner of what probably used to be the mess hall. The Castle Town guard was relatively unorganized compared to a more high-tech police force, so I didn’t have to go all the way back to headquarters or get a warrant. I opened the trapdoor and climbed down.

It was a dark room, but not dank. The air was fresh -- either the cavern opened into a cave, or it wasn’t as abandoned as it seemed. I heard voices, so I ducked behind the ladder. Two guys, alright, but they didn’t look like the round-eared men. In fact I was positive they weren’t, as one was a bokoblin.

“It’s not my fault. I didn’t let her out of the cage. I’m not gonna sit back and take the rap from Boss Ganon.”

“Well how was I supposed ta know she didn’t really need ta use the bathroom?!”

“She had a bucket!”

“She’s a princess, maybe she didn’t know that’s what the bucket was for!”

The bokoblin slapped the other goon on the head. “You idiot.”

I had heard all I needed to. I stepped out from behind the ladder. “Alright, you two. You’re under arrest. I have the duty to inform you of your rights. You have no rights. Anything you’d like to say?”

“Rights?” The bokoblin asked. “What are rights?”

“Now who’s an idiot!” the Hylian goon said. “We have the right to remain silent!”

I shook my head. “Not in Hyrule.” I pulled my sword. “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

My interrogation was a success.

“Alright, alright, we’ll talk!” the bokoblin said. “What do you want us to talk about?”

“Ganon - the Princess - draft evasion. Anything and everything that can help us rescue Princess Zelda.”

“Well, she was here,” the Hylian said.

“And?” I asked.

“Then she escaped!” the bokoblin said.

Clearly the suspects knew nothing. At all. I put them out of their misery and continued my search.

* * *

Thursday, 5 P.M. Bill and I took stock of our new surroundings. I’ll give it that much, there wasn’t any smog.

We noticed the locals - civilians by the looks of them - giving us odd looks. If their outfits were anything to go by, I didn’t blame them. We must have looked weirder than hippies. We walked up to the fattest one and asked him some questions.

“Sir, we’re police officers.” I flashed him my badge. “I’m Joe Friday, this is my partner Bill Gannon. We’d like to ask you some questions.”

The man looked at me, then he looked at Bill. He shook his head wildly and screamed. “Please, please don’t kill us! You can have the castle! You can have all of my Rupees! We won’t resist!” Then he ran for the hills.

Bill and I exchanged a glance. “Nice guy,” Bill said. “Maybe he was the village idiot?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.” We looked around the town, and we spotted a man bedecked in armor. I pointed him out to Bill.

“Hark, do mine eyes see the local law enforcement?” Bill asked.

I had to smile -- I’d seen a lot of odd things in my time as a policeman, but nothing as ridiculous as this. We walked towards the man. “Excuse me,” I said. “Are you a policeman?”

The man turned to look at us, and he seemed to raise his eyebrows. “Policeman? I don’t know what that is, sir.”

“The local peacekeeper, muscle on the side of the law, the fuzz, the heat, poison, trouble, john law, bad news.”

The man nodded. “Oh, yeah, that just about describes my job.”

I smiled -- finally, progress. I showed him my badge. “Well, we’re on your side. I’m Sergeant Joe Friday, and this is my partner Officer Bill Gannon.”

The guard took a step back and seemed to reach for his sword. “G-Gannon?” he asked. He sounded frightened. “G-G-G--”

Bill and I exchanged a glance, Bill shrugged. “That’s my name,” he said. “Anything I can do for you?”

The guardsman gulped. “That’s - that’s. That’s above my paygrade, I’m not Sir Link!” Then he dropped his sword and ran.

Now we knew why the locals were hostile to police -- they were idiots. That, and Bill apparently shared a name with some kind of unsavory character. We didn’t know how to get this straightened out and get back home, but we figured we should look for whoever _did_ have it in their paygrade.

In a relatively small town like this, news spread fast. Anyone we tried to walk up to ran, and soon the streets were empty.

“What should we do, Joe? I have to admit, I’m out of my depth.”

I shook my head. “I am too, Bill.” I looked up and squinted. “But I think I know how we can gain some perspective.” I pointed.

Bill followed my finger and nodded. “If there’s any kind of central authority, it’d have to be there.” He paused and shrugged, “Either central authority or a massive beast cursed to never find love. You know, the usual.”

We started down the main street to the castle, passing a couple dozen shuttered homes and businesses. It wasn’t long before we reached the moat. 

6 P.M. Bill and I had reached the castle. We’d ascertained that the moat was not filled with anything obviously life-threatening -- we still chose to cross the bridge.

The castle’s main gates were closed, so Bill and I circled the building. We found a camouflaged side entrance, presumably for the help.

Bill looked at the door, then looked at me. “Think we should go in?” he asked.

I shrugged. “We don’t have a warrant.”

Bill laughed and shook his head. “It takes the strangest situations to bring out your sense of humor, doesn’t it?”

I nodded and gestured. “Shall we?” With a small amount of pressure the hidden door opened and we entered the castle.

* * *

Thursday, 6 P.M. I rode Epona back into town to report my new information to Captain Krin -- and it seemed that in the short time I was gone, it had become a ghost town. The streets were empty, the market stalls bare, and there were no chickens anywhere to be seen.

I made my way to headquarters in record time.

Thursday, 7 P.M. I arrived at headquarters.

“Captain,” I said, running in. “What’s happened?”

Captain Krin and the other guardsmen were poring over a map. “Link!” Krin said, “You’re back, good. We’ll need your help with the evacuation!”

“Evacuation?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

The Princess’ bodyguard, Impa, stepped forward. “It’s Gannon,” she said. “He just walked into town.”

“Where is he?” I asked, suddenly alert.

“He made his way to the castle, by all reports,” Captain Krin said. “Him and that henchman of his.”

“Fryday,” one of the patrolmen said. “He said his name was Fryday. He called himself a Sergeant.”

“I see,” I said, nodding. “It’s worse than we thought -- Gannon’s gone beyond the gangster he used to be; he’s built some kind of army.”

Krin nodded. “So come over here and help us plan the evacuation.”

I shook my head and turned to exit the building. “Sorry, Captain,” I said. “I might be just a town guard, but my duty is not just to the people in the town. When I joined I pledged to serve all the people -- including Princess Zelda.”

* * *

Thursday, 7:30 P.M. Bill and I searched the castle. We found signs of people, presumably servants, but they all seemed to have fled. Presumably in fear of Bill -- or rather, whoever or whatever they thought Bill was.

Eventually we made our way into what had to be the throne room. “Nice place.” Bill said, “Do you see that, Joe?”

I looked around, “See what?” I asked.

“You really don’t see it?”

I turned and looked at him. “Bill,” I said, “if I saw it, I wouldn’t ask what I was supposed to see.”

Bill shook his head, “It’s because you’re single, Joe.” He walked to the wall and patted it. “Tapestries, Joe. Nice, modern tapestries. Bet you don’t have any of those in your apartment?”

I shook my head, “No, can’t say that I do.”

Bill nodded. “Thought so. You can tell a lot about a king by what he hangs on his wall. Tapestries, Joe.”

“How about a Princess?” I asked.

Bill paused, then nodded. “You can tell a lot about a princess by what she hangs on her wall.”

I shrugged, then stopped. I’d heard a noise -- like footsteps coming up a stone stairwell. I looked at Bill and he nodded. He’d heard the noise too.

We both drew our guns -- in this situation, we weren’t sure what would jump out. A human, a knight, a couple of dwarves, a vampire bat. Anything was possible. I swept myself to the side, out of sight from the doorway. Bill stayed where he was.

A young man walked out, dressed in seemingly-average clothes. “Hold it right there, mister,” I said.

The boy stopped. “Hands against the wall.”

The boy complied and Bill frisked him. Then Bill stepped away. “Clean,” he said. “But Joe, one problem.”

I cocked my head. “Oh?” I asked.

“He’s not a boy,” Bill said.

My eyes narrowed and I nodded. It seemed we’d found Princess Zelda after all.

* * *

Thursday, 8 P.M. After a cursory search of the town, I made my way to the castle -- alone, because none of the other Guardsmen were willing to come with. That’s why they were Guardsmen and I was a Knight. I couldn’t blame them. They were scared, I was scared too. But what is it, to be a cop, and back down when a scourge like Ganon has invaded your land and taken your Princess? Everyone’s scared. It doesn’t mean you should let your fear stop you from doing your duty.

I walked across the moat and knocked on the castle door. No answer, not that I expected one. I’d been to the castle enough to know my way around, so I headed for the servant’s entrance -- and found it wide open. “There’s our entry point,” I said.

“Hey, listen!”

I ignored Na’vi and made my way into the castle. One hand was on my sword and the other was on my boomerang, and I had a collection of various bombs, potions, and magical items on my belt. I was ready for anything and expected everything.

I zeroed in on the throne room -- after all, where else would Ganon be? And sure enough, as I crept closer, I heard voices. Two men, and one woman. The Princess.

“Ma’am,” one of the men said. “I’m going to ask you again. Where are we, and how exactly did we get here?”

“I don’t know!” Princess Zelda said. “I was sneaking out of my rooms to explore the countryside, and then I suddenly found myself in an unfamiliar place and you picked me up. I don’t know how I got there, and I don’t know how I got back here.”

“Well, that’s very nice,” said the same voice as before. “But that doesn’t help us, does it?”

“Lady, we just want to go home,” said the other male voice. “And you’ve got to come with us, unless this is where your parent or guardian lives. We can’t just abandon you here, even though it is a nice castle.”

This was an interesting development -- the Princess didn’t seem to be in danger. I had no idea what Ganon and Fryday intended to do with her, perhaps take her back to their own land and use her as a figurehead to puppet Hyrule from a distance. I had my duty. I drew my sword and kicked open the door. “Knight! On the ground!”

Ganon and Fryday -- I didn’t know which was which -- looked at me in shock.

“Link!” Zelda shouted.

“You know this man?” the black-haired one said. I noticed they were both pointing odd black things at me -- some kind of weapon, probably magical.

“I’m Link, a Knight of Hyrule, sworn to protect her people.” I took a step forward, wary of their weapons. “And her ruler.”

Gannon and Fryday looked at each other. “Ruler?” The one with gray hair asked.

“Yes!” Princess Zelda said. “I am the Princess regnant of Hyrule!”

The gray-haired one lowered his weapon. “Joe,” he began. “You don’t think…”

“It’s all some kind of misunderstanding?” The black-haired one nodded. “It’s beginning to look that way.”

“Put down your weapons and step away from the Princess,” I said, with my off-hand on my boomerang, ready to throw it at a moment’s notice.

Both men glanced at each other and in tandem, they dropped their weapons. “Easy, fella,” the black-haired one said. “We don’t mean any harm.”

“We’re on your side,” the gray-haired one said.

“Tell it to the magistrate,” I said. “Princess, are you hurt?”

Zelda shook her head. “Link, they’re not bad,” she said, “I think.”

“You think or you know?” I asked, hand still on my sword.

“Link, do either of these men look like seven foot tall men with tusks?”

“Well, they did take you hostage, didn’t they?”

“Yes, but it had to be because they could see that I was lost! They kept saying that they needed to return me to my guardian! I didn’t know what they wanted so I escaped their prison, but…”

I looked at the men. “Her guardian?”

The gray-haired one nodded. “Or her parent.”

“King Hyrule is dead,” I said, then shook my head. “If this is all a misunderstanding, how come everyone thinks Ganon’s taken control of Castle town?”

“Well, that’s my name,” said the gray-haired one. “Gannon, Bill Gannon.”

I couldn’t help myself -- my jaw dropped. I looked at Zelda. She looked at me. We both shook our heads. I sheathed my sword. “If that’s the case, then I am her guardian, as fated in prophecies and foretold by the sages. Thanks… for your efforts. You can leave, gentlemen.”

“Not so fast,” said the not-Gannon one. “We can’t just take your word--”

“Uh, Joe, I somehow don’t get the feeling that they maintain a bureau of records out here. Princess, is he your guardian?”

The Princess nodded vigorously.

“Good enough for me,” said Gannon. “Now let’s see about going back to Los Angeles.”

* * *

The story you have read today was true. Only the names were changed to protect the innocent.

No trial was held.

PRINCESS ZELDA OF HYRULE

Released into the custody of her legal guardian.

SERGEANT JOE FRIDAY, OFFICER BILL GANNON

Returned to duty.


End file.
